Not entirely about writing

So, some that follow me on Twitter know that my dad hasn't been doing good. He was in need of a liver transplant. This is his second transplant. The first one to become available was turned away by the surgeon, it turned out to have early signs of Cirrhosis. The second one to become available was accepted and came two days later. He went into pre-op and was gotten ready for the transplant. The surgery went beautifully. However, the liver was not wanting to start waking up (working). Though there were no severe complications, his BP did drop during the surgery. The doctor thinks that might have shocked it. Now, mind you, it has been a few days now and the liver is still not awake. They had another one waiting for him just in case. They didn't need it thankfully, but now sepsis has set in. I haven't heard anything in a few days and they say, 'No news is good news.' My mind and nerves are stretched so thin with worry. I am very close to my dad and though I want to keep a positive, I am a realist. I have hit a point where I am just waiting for the call that either says he's going home or he didn't make it. It sounds horrible, I know.

In all of this chaos I am trying to stay busy and my mind distracted so that I don't completely fall apart. So, I keep busy. I'm still writing, still going to school, still working at the donut shop, have my daughters to take care of and home life in general. I have a book that I have been working on for almost two years almost finished. I have also been working on others. This distraction is very welcome. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. There are days I just want everything to go dark. Others, I just want to be so busy I can't think more than two minutes into the future. I don't have depression, but it's all just so overwhelming. I suffer with anxiety and sometimes it can be more damning than anything.

I don't say all of this because I want pity or sympathy. I say all of this so others who read this know that they are not the only ones who go through hardships. They are not the only ones have anxiety or darker thoughts. I say this to let everyone know that even writers are human. That ALL OF US ARE HUMAN. I still continue write, work, take care of my monsters, my house. I won't lie though, I wish someone would take care of me. Just hug me, just sit there in silence and cuddle, just make sure I'm still functioning on a basic human level. My husband tries the best he can, but we work different shifts. Plus our days off don't match up except for one. I keep pushing through, keep moving forward. I need to, because I have teacup humans who rely on me to be there for them.

But to everyone who follows me or reads my books, THANK YOU for your support. It means the world to me. Everyone's support keeps me writing. I love what I do and I hope those who read my books love it as well. I hope everyone has been doing amazing. Even if you aren't, just remember, the next day is a new day to try to improve everything and make the day better :) Even with everything I have going on, I am always someone safe to vent to if it helps you clear your head and ease your emotions. I love all of you lovely weirdos!!